What if Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom had permadeath? What then?

We know what you're wondering, does The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom have permadeath? Since you're a strong, popular, hardcore gamer who is only cool with investing dozens of hours into a game if a stray arrow or sudden real-world distraction can force you to throw all that time away. You may have thought The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom isn't for you, but thanks to some under-the-table bribes and dumpster diving behind Nintendo HQ, we've found evidence that may surpise you...

This hot scoop comes via an alternate cut of a recent Tears of the Kingdom ad that went live yesterday. In it, a depressed man in an obviously loveless marriage finds brief joy in playing Tears of the Kingdom on the bus with the sound blasting through the speakers, or at home while his lonely wife texts old flames in the neighbouring bedroom. You can watch it yourself below.

There we have it. Indisputable proof of permadeath in Tears of the Kingdom. I mean, not really, but every game has permadeath if you manually delete your saves after every demise. Still, kinda wild brave of them to slap that much gore in an otherwise bloodless series but y'know what maybe it's about time Zelda grew up with its fans who now should have jobs and mortgages like real people (husks).

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